The 4th Trimester- where has the village gone?
‘I’m exhausted, I can’t cope, it’s just too hard’
Are you a mother and have experienced these thoughts? Or, do you know someone who has? You’re not alone. Post partum, although a beautiful and amazing time can be very isolating. A time where we can question every decision, every thought and every action.
We know it takes a village to raise children but, where has the village gone?! Lifes stressors, professional drive and aspirations and just the busyness of life has meant the support networks we use to have, aren’t always available.
Historically, we would have a child, isolate for a minimum of 40 days, be cared for by our closest family members, meals would be cooked and nourishing ones at that and the washing and cleaning done. These days, even with a newborn, we are expected to leave the house, accept visitors and still conduct all the chores and cooking like we use to. No wonder we’re burning out and not coping!
We feel ashamed to ask for help but in reality, we should feel proud that we can recognise our short falls and ask for help. We’re social beings and need each other. Some of the happiest societies still live with their families and villages. Everyone supports one another.
Postpartum is a dynamic stage of life. Beautiful, chaotic, challenging and exhausting. How we prepare for this time will really dictate the post natal experience.
Nutritional support is a key area of focus for this time. I often stress to my patients the importance of food preparation in the lead up to birth. Bulk cook so on those days where witching hour has started earlier and you’re not coping, you know you have a nourishing bowl of food you can heat up and eat. Certain supplements (tailored to your needs) can really assist in providing you the extra support to help you during this time.
Mental and physical support can’t be discounted. Our bodies are forever changed after having children. Our hormones are up and down and nothing is in a steady state. Recognising, understanding and accepting these changes can have a huge impact on your mental and physical wellbeing. Teeing up with a fantastic women’s health physiotherapist can assist you to understand your strengths and weaknesses and aid you to achieve realistic goals. Social media has unfortunately given us a false sense of reality and surrounding ourselves with the right support networks will ensure this transition can be much smoother. Herbal and nutritional support as well as seeking assistance from a specialised counselor can really make the world of difference.
Don’t feel ashamed to invest in yourself. We may not always have the family village around us but you can form a village of practitioners and support services to really guide and assist you during the most beautiful time in your life. You’ve just given birth, be gentle on yourself and remember, post partum isn’t just 6 weeks. It is up to 2 years.